It was last year in spring that the idea for a business that suited every fibre of my being came to me. I was already two years into my healing journey at that point, so learning new mindsets and taking an honest look at myself were part of my regular practice. I knew at that point already how to become aware of limiting and unhealthy patterns and beliefs. I knew how to rewire my brain.
I also knew that once I saw this vision of my ideal business, there was no ignoring it. I had to pursue it. Nothing else made sense.
I was in conversation with my EFT therapist about what I wanted to do. I knew this project was grand, bigger than I had ever undertaken before. To attain something you've never had, you must do things you've never done. I knew I still had limiting beliefs built into my neural pathways, I still had trauma and fear in my body that was going to hold me back.
I set the intention - I needed to release these wounds from my body and mind. I needed to rewire all the negative beliefs into positive ones. I needed to change the wiring in my brain. I had to heal to attain the success I desired and was deserving of.
As I began to seek out those who could assist me in my community, I was also regularly engaging in all the healing techniques I had learned. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) therapy along with my own EFT practices, meditation to slow down my thoughts, watch them, pick out which were limiting me and then getting to the root of where this limiting belief came from.
As an example, limiting beliefs I use to hold were as follows; "I can't do this. I've never done this. Who am I to have the audacity to do this? I don't know what I'm doing. I can't." Where did I learn these words from? Who imprinted these limiting beliefs on me? If I had allowed it, these thoughts would have shut me down immediately. I wouldn't even have had the guts to try.
I would bring up these thoughts to my EFT therapist, we tapped and worked through these limiting beliefs, releasing the power of them from my body. As with any cycle in nature, when you release something you have to fill it - hopefully with something better. "If I couldn't do this, the thought and desire wouldn't be in me. Anyone can start a business, why not me? I may not know everything I need to know YET, but this is why I live in such a supportive community where we have entire businesses built to help dreams come to fruition. What if I can? What if everything works out even better that I can imagine?"
Once there were new words in my head, I had to continuously instill them, working them into my being. No different than when you engage in physical training. This was nothing new to me. For years I had been weightlifting at the gym, getting into heavy weights even, maxing out at a 225 lbs squat and 250 lbs deadlift. This got boring and I moved on to olympic weightlifting, teaching myself because I am stubborn. Also, eventually throwing around weights of 115 lbs in my cleans and 110 lbs in overhead squats.
Now, did I get here overnight? Did I struggle like hell to the point of wanting to give up? Nothing challenges a perfectionist like starting something difficult from scratch.
*You can learn more about this journey here*
I had learned in order to use muscles that had laid dormant and strengthen them to throw around heavy weight, you had to move intentionally, slowly, carefully. I had to start with no weight at all, especially in the olympic weightlifting work. Focusing on just getting the positioning right, the breath, the core engagement. Frustrating as hell at first, but eventually muscle memory developed and it became habit.
The exact same principles apply to rewiring your brain. At first it's insanely difficult and frustrating to try to catch thoughts that hold you back. It is difficult as hell to have to almost scratch out the unconscious hurtful words and rewrite the thought with kinder language, new vocabulary. But muscle memory builds and it get's easier and easier. I started to become aware of times I had reacted differently to a challenging situation.
For example. In the past, if I had made plans with someone I was incredibly excited to see and they cancelled on me last minute AGAIN, I would have been devastated. "Why am I not important enough to them? Why don't they want to spend time with me? Did I do something? Why doesn't anyone want to hang out with me!?" I took it personally, made it about myself, coloured the whole world in my sorrows and allowed it to drain me.
Now after having done so much work to become aware of these victim mindset thoughts, I started to speak kinder to myself. "It has nothing to do with me, this was not my fault. They love me very much, this one situation just happen to not work out. All is well." Even adding "Everything that is meant for me, is coming to me and comes to me with ease. Those meant for me, actively chose me because I actively chose myself (again, how I view myself is how others view me). That which is not meant for me will fall apart to my benefit. Everything that happens, for loss or for gain, is in my benefit."
The next time a friend had cancelled on me a miracle happened. Want to know what thoughts were in my head? "Hmm.. I am disappointed but I guess it is happening for my benefit. Maybe I am not seeing something that I am being protected from? Everything is happening as it should." The moment I felt deflated I was able to speak to myself in this way!! I did that! I couldn't even remember right off the top of my head what other garbage that would have flooded my brain before! I changed my brain!
This directly translates into my Entrepreneur journey. I can't begin to tell you how much fear has crept up every time I got a step closer to my dream becoming reality. I battled with that fear every single day. So much mental work went into these moments. Somedays fear would win and I would breakdown. Other days I felt it, allowed it, and still moved along side it with grace.
I didn't realize how much impact this had on me till something big fell through just last week. Let. Me. Tell. You.
I had been hard at work with my realestate agent to negotiate and write a whole proposal to rent. My architectural team had already begun their work on designing the space I wanted. I was so certain this is where my dreams were coming true. As conversations progressed with the landlords of the space, I saw yellow flag, after yellow flag pop up. My intuition was nudging me "careful." I still believed things could turn around. It was not too late for them to do better, but they chose not to. Red flag after red flag started rising. That's it. I'm done. My intuition is going off. This space is not going to work out. I was not about to reward, quite frankly, shitty behaviour. You no longer get to work with me. You no longer get to have me in your space. I'm pulling out.
As soon as I made the call to back off, my intuition's decision was confirmed by those around me. They saw the red flags too and praised my decision.
To make that call was difficult, but I had learned incredibly deep trust in myself, my ancestors and the universe. I live in abundance, one path doesn't work, there are ten other paths I can take. Everything happens as it should. Everything for loss or for gain, happens to my benefit. I no longer force anything, if it is not meant to be, it won't. I will never again force anything to fit when it is not meant to.
When I came to accept that I was no longer going to develop my business in this space, guess where my mind went? I am writing this with the biggest grin on my face. No longer did I have a big meltdown " OH MY GAWD what am I gonna do!? My dreams shattered! I shouldn't have ever gone down this road! What am I to do now!?"
NO
Instead, I'm not joking when I say this, immediately my mind said "Wow I am so grateful I listened to my intuition. Wow this must mean that even better is coming! If this didn't work out it's because I am being protected! Even better than I originally thought is coming!? Are you serious!? I can't wait to see what it is!"
Can you believe it? I am amazed at myself. Wow. My chest is lighting up as I reflect on the words above. I. did. that. I changed my brain to such an extreme that I no longer had to actively fight the pessimistic thoughts. I no longer had to fight to keep my head above water, it just came, naturally, instinctively. I am now floating in peace, embracing the currents of the unknown. Excited to see what is coming next.
This makes me feel immensely powerful, a force to be reckoned with. I can relax into scary waters. What could you possibly do to me to disturb my peace?
I am divinely protected. My ancestors are powerful and fearless. I don't yet fully comprehend the scope of divine protection and power I walk with. Everyday I wake up excited to find out more, to see what else is meant for me. Because clearly, it truly is, better than I can imagine.
I share this to inspire you. If I can rewire my brain, so can you.
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