I vow

I vow to be the ancestor that changed the entire future for her descendants. 

The bloodline I come from is filled with hate. It’s filled with betrayal and scars and bruises and tears. It’s filled with men beating their wives and children. It’s filled with sexual assault, rape. It’s filled with jealous mothers hating their daughters, willing to ruin their lives if they desire what you possess. It’s filled with narcissistic abuse that is meant to destroy the integrity and identity of their offspring to serve them at the cost of the child’s soul. Blood means nothing therefor they will betray their own at any chance for monetary gain. It’s filled with hate. 

I am the one who has changed this pattern. I am the one that refuses to bow to this expectation. 

I vow to never give up on this. I vow to change the structure of my fucking cells. I vow to walk when I can’t run. I vow to crawl when I can’t walk. I vow to claw my mother fucking way when there is nothing left of me. 

I abhor what has come before me, my descendants will never know this. It will only be tales told as to what the past was like. So far from their reality that it is folklore to them. 

I vow to teach my descendants the same strength I gained from surviving this and being brave enough to change course even if it meant immense loss and immense pain. They will know the mental strength I gained, without having to endure to damage. 

I have learned great hate, great manipulation. I possess the ability to display great violence in such a deceptive way that you will think I am showing you honour, thanking me. This hatred I come from has taught me powerful things. 

But I chose to take the lessons and use them with love because I am that fucking strong. I am so fucking strong that I chose to alchemize hatred intro strength and love. 

I vow to be the ancestors that has changed the existence of my lineage.